9 Things No One Talks About After Having A Baby

For most first time mothers, only a few things are more terrifying than the unknown of giving birth to a baby.

Everyone has heard horror stories from their friends and family that do nothing but make our fears intensify, and a lot of what happens can be out of our control.

Even worse? Not only do you have to get through the delivery, but you have to survive caring for a newborn on ZERO sleep while trying to figure out breastfeeding and recovering physically and emotionally from what your body has gone through.

Below are a few informative (and possibly terrifying) things you should know about delivery and postnatal recovery that I wish I knew before I had my daughter.

I must admit, with Baby #2 due soon, there are times when I wish I didn’t remember some of the particulars…

  1. You Have to Deliver The Placenta

I never realized that the placenta had to be pushed out after delivering the baby, although, now that I think about it, how else would it be removed? That being said, this part was actually super easy and is nothing to be concerned about.

After my daughter entered the world, the doctor removed the placenta by putting pressure on my stomach below the rib cage and pushing inwards and downwards towards the “exit”. The placenta came out without any issue and was by far the easiest part of delivery, so don’t worry!

 

2. Your Tummy Will Look Like An Old Balloon

One of the things I thought about before my daughter was born was what my stomach would look like afterwards. Would it hang to my toes? Would it ever tighten up again? Will my belly button be deformed?

Well, I’m here to tell you not to look at your stomach afterwards, because it will look flabby and deflated (unless you are a super model and have the ability to bounce back to pre-pregger form in a day or two).

As depressing as this thought is, don’t fret! Your uterus will shrink back to its normal size over time and with a little work (for those who need it), your tummy can go back to pre-pregnancy form (or something close to it).

However, you should also be aware that most women do suffer from diastasis recti (abdominal separation a.k.a. “mummy tummy”) that can occur from pregnancy. I’ve created a post dedicated to diastasis recti (linked below), which includes information to help you determine whether you have DR, as well as links to exercises that you can do to close the gap and tighten your tummy.

These exercises helped flatten my tummy, close the gap and were quick and easy to do, even if your baby only sleeps 15 minutes a day, like my daughter did.

RELATED READING: Mummy Tummy? You Could Have Diastasis Recti

 3. What Goes In Must Come Out

All the blood, fluids and other prenatal goodies that were helping your baby survive and grow inside your uterus can’t stay there after birth After delivering, you will bleed for about 2 weeks or more to remove all of the “stuff” baby has been living with inside the womb. This part is definitely not fun; think of it as a period on steroids.

Not only does this bleeding last longer, but for those of you who have a vaginal delivery and are still healing from the “trauma” down there (which could require stitches) that area cannot be wiped and can only be gently splashed with water. Everything down there stings and you end up feeling like a dirty, stinky mess after the end of the 2 (or more) weeks. Very nasty.

 4. Sex After Baby Could Be…Different

I remember getting the all clear from my OB at my 6-week postpartum check up. “You’re good to go!” she said, when I asked about having sex again. I was curious to see how everything would feel afterwards: Would everything work the same? Would it feel the same?

Well…yes and no. I was upset that things definitely felt “looser” down there, but after 6 weeks, I knew I had to be patient. What was really upsetting? The Big “O” turned out to be the missing “O”. Yes, my equipment wasn’t working the way it used to and the grand finale I was expecting fizzled away.

No fireworks. No nothing. This was really disappointing (yes, I cried a bit) and it made me worry that my equipment would never work properly again! Apparently, the muscles down there contract during climax and the weight of the baby during pregnancy can loosen these muscles.

This was something I definitely didn’t come across during my pregnancy reading, but after a couple months of kegels, general exercise and movements to strengthen my pelvic floor, these muscles were back in business!

 

  5. Stock Up On Fibre

I’ve often read that constipation can occur during pregnancy due to raging hormones, but no one warned me about constipation after delivery. Yes, after baby is born your hormones change again, which can cause constipation and pain…lots and lots of pain.

Whether you have a vaginal birth or cesarean, the last thing you want to do is have to work to push out a difficult bowel movement, as everything in that area hurts like hell! My first postnatal bowel movement was so painful, and I dreaded every visit to the washroom thereafter. It took me a couple months to have a pain-free bowel movement again and the first one brought tears of joy to my eyes.

If constipation after delivery is an issue, consider using a laxative (after consulting your doctor and/or pharmacist first). I was stubborn and decided to tough it out, but you don’t have to be the stubborn hero I was. High fibre foods are also very helpful during this time. Buy stocks in Fibre 1 cereal now.

 

  6. The Epidural Can Cause Lingering Lower Back Pain

I was terrified of getting an epidural, but the process itself was quick and painless and it definitely helped manage the pain from the contractions.However, it did leave me with lower back pains for several months after delivery. I started to worry that the pain would never go away.

Luckily for me, after 6 months or so, one day I realized the pain was gone.

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 7. Exhaustion = Delirium

Many people tell you about how tired you’re going to be after baby. I remember thinking, “No sweat, I don’t sleep that much anyways.” But caring for a newborn, especially if you exclusively breast feed, means constant feedings at all hours of the day and only a couple of hours of sleep at a time.

Not only did I lose sleep, but I started to lose my mind. I can remember being so tired that if I closed my eyes for a few seconds I would literally pass out. I felt overwhelmed and anxious, had difficulty remembering the simplest things and became overly emotional at times.

Sometimes I would lie my daughter beside me in our bed to breastfeed her at night and had to make sure my husband would keep me awake so I wouldn’t fall asleep and roll onto her by accident. For this reason, it’s not safe to sleep with baby in your bed and even holding them in your arms when you’re close to nodding off could be dangerous.

I felt like somebody else had taken over my body for the first 3 weeks postnatal and I’m not looking forward to that feeling the second time around.

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8. Breastfeeding Can Cause Contractions

I had read that breastfeeding can help you lose weight and also helps your uterus return to its pre-pregnancy size much faster. But…I didn’t realize that I would actually be able to feel  it contracting! Yes, during the early weeks of breastfeeding, I would feel minor cramping in my stomach while feeding my daughter.

This is because the act of breastfeeding triggers the body’s release of oxytocin, a hormone that promotes contractions. These cramps were not painful and are totally normal. They also reminded me that my body was working hard to get everything back to pre-pregger form.

 9. You May Not Be As Emotionally Attached To Baby As You Expect

For those who know me well, they can vouch that I cry for every little thing: sad songs, movies, commercials, happy moments, anything really. However, once my daughter was born, I didn’t shed a single tear, which totally shocked and disappointed me.

I can remember feeling overwhelmed after delivery (like, holy crap, I’m a mom!) and tired from the entire birthing process in general. But when I held my daughter, as happy as I was, I didn’t feel that instant attachment to her that I thought I would. This really bothered me and made me question what kind of mother I was.

This attachment did develop over the following days and weeks and from what I’ve read, isn’t abnormal for new moms. But for some moms, it could be a sign of postpartum depression.

If you feel that you have difficulty bonding with your baby over time, please consult your doctor.

 

Additional symptoms of postpartum depression can be found here.

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Any surprises after you delivered your baby?